Chapter Text
It was a beautiful, warm summer's night. So beautiful, in fact, that Lynn and Rita Loud decided to take their five daughters stargazing. In descending birth order, there was the five-year-old Lily, the four-year-old Lisa, the three-year-old Lola, the two-year-old Lana, and the ten-month-old Lucy. The parents and children piled into the family van and drove to Sleeping Bear Dunes. The campground was open to the public and didn't charge any fees, so if any of them should get sleepy, they would all sleep under the stars. Two hours into the stargazing, something very large blocked out the moon and stars, and the many forest creatures suddenly went silent.
The parents looked at each other worriedly, using their husband-wife telepathy to debate whether to leave earlier than they originally planned. The object in the sky appeared to be totally black, but a very close inspection revealed that it had graceful curves as if it were made of seashell or coral, and was lined with odd lumps distributed evenly between razor-sharp fins and crests.
Without warning, the whole family was illuminated from directly above by a pale blue spotlight. While the children shrieked and covered their eyes against the sudden brightness, Rita began drifting upwards almost too fast for either her or her husband to react. When they did react, each tried desperately to grasp the hand of the other, only for their fingers to just barely brush.
Rita screamed as she was taken by the tractor beam into the waiting clutches of the looming object, which was in fact a massive spacecraft from the distant planet of Yautja Prime. Lynn and the children screamed helplessly as their wife and mother was forcefully taken from them. Once Rita reached the bowels of the vessel, the spotlight abruptly switched off, bathing everyone in darkness once more. With an earth-shattering thunderclap, the ship's engines fired up, and it returned to the region of space from whence it came.
...
Rita woke up in a dark room that was swelteringly warm. She tried to swat her husband to tell him to open the bedroom window, only to hear a dullclankwhen the short chain attached to the shackle around her wrist jerked taught. The memories of the spotlight shining down on her family's blanket in the grass came flooding back, and Rita lifted her head to look down at herself.
She had been stripped of all clothing, and her wrists and ankles were shackled to a hard but comfortable stone slab. The room was so hot and humid that a fine sheen of sweat covered her bare skin and glistened in the dim light. Looking around, she appeared to be in some sort of laboratory; the room's dim light came from many glowing monitors attached to the walls, and a thick metal arm suspended above the table she was laying on bristled with innumerable tools with different functions. This struck fear into her, and she began to struggle, whimpering and sobbing when the shackles failed to loosen.
While she was struggling, a panel in one wall slid upward, allowing a tall creature to saunter into the room. Rita stopped moving in order to get a good look at it. The creature was about nine feet tall and had a bipedal humanoid shape. However, that was the only similarity to a human that it had. Sporting one of the ugliest faces she had ever seen framed by glossy black dreadlocks with golden rings braided into them, the undoubtedly masculine creature was bare-chested. Its scaly gray-green skin rippled with powerful muscles, and leather breeches and boots covered the lower half of its body. The mandible-like flaps of skin on either side of its fang-filled mouth opened, and it spoke in perfect English marred only by a raspy unidentifiable accent.
"Greetings, human. I mean you no harm."
"Who are you? What are you doing to me?" Rita asked, her voice wavering in terror.
"Unfortunately, my true name cannot be translated into any human language. However, you may call me 'Tech,' as I am a brilliant scientist among my race, the Yautja. As for what I am going to do to you, you have been specially selected from among your race to take part in a breeding experiment. You see, an unforeseen affliction has stricken all Yautja females with infertility. If we are able to successfully mate with another species similar in physiology and cognitive ability, it could be the key to saving us from extinction," the extraterrestrial creature explained. Rita was strangely okay with this.
"W-will it hurt?" she asked, causing the Yautja to let out a sound that could have been laughter.
"Of course not. The process of artificial insemination will be completely painless. You may even find it to be pleasurable..."
...
The Yautja scientist, who still insisted on being called "Tech," promised not to keep Rita captive on Yautja Prime any longer than absolutely necessary, and he kept his word. Her living conditions just slightly surpassed the level ofbearable, which she was thankful for. She was allowed to roam freely about Tech's laboratory and was given a diet of strange-looking yet tasty fruits and vegetables (she and Tech found out the hard way that the animal products native to the planet were very difficult for a human to digest). She once asked Tech why he wouldn't let her go outdoors, and he explained that he was one of only a handful of Yautja that saw the benefits of successful reproduction with humans. Across the wider planetary surface, Rita would most likely be hunted for sport upon encountering one of the natives.
After almost three weeks (in Earth time) of continuous experiments and repeated inseminations, Tech was able to conclude that Rita truly was pregnant. At which point, they boarded his personal ship and returned to Earth. Rita sat in the copilot's chair beside Tech, trying to find a comfortable position in a seat designed for a much larger Yautja frame. Tech having discarded her old clothes, not seeing a use for them, she wore a crude dress made from the pelt of something that originated from among Yautja Prime's wildlife.
"I must warn you, Rita," began Tech, "if the rumors I've heard about your native governing system are true, then you may be subjected to experiments similar to my own, but with a different purpose. There's no telling whether the child you carry will be able to withstand it."
"I know. But you took me away from my husband and children the night you took me to Yautja Prime. If that's what has to happen for me to see them again, then so be it."
"As you wish," Tech conceded. They came to the exact place where Rita was abducted, and Rita said goodbye to Tech right before he used the tractor beam to lower her to the ground. The leather sandals that Tech made for her protected Rita's feet as she walked the great distance to the nearest gas station. She talked the cashier into letting her use the phone, then dialed the number of her family's landline. After several rings, Rita heard the saddened voice of her eldest daughter.
"Hello?"
"Hi, Lily, it's Mom." There was a long pause, and Rita feared that Lily thought it was a prank call and hung up. Then Lily spoke again, and it sounded like she was trying hard to fight back tears.
"M-Mom? I-is that really you?"
"Yes, sweetie, it's me. The alien that took me brought me back. I'm at the gas station a couple miles down the road from Sleeping Bear Dunes. Can you send your dad to come pick me up?"
"Sure, but give me some time to wake him up. He justfainted."Rita let out a small giggle, knowing how emotional her husband could get.
"Okay. Try to hurry, though. This pimply teenager behind the counter keeps looking at me funny." The cashier blushed and averted his gaze. "I love you, Lily."
"Love you too, Mom."
The minute the family van parked, Lynn and all five girls jumped out and nearly dog-piled Rita, shouting for joy at the long-awaited reunion.
"We tried to tell people that aliens took you, but nobody believed us. You're still the subject of a missing person investigation," Lynn said through his happy tears.
"I'll tell all of you what happened. Right now, I need to go home and put on somerealclothes," Rita promised him.
"I dunno. Have I ever told you about my fantasies of an arranged American Indian peace-treaty marriage?" Lynn asked with a wink.
"Gross, Dad! Get a room!" Lily gagged, making both of her parents laugh.
...
As she promised, Rita explained who kidnapped her and why. Once she had a chance to freshen up, that is. Lynn reacted to the news that she was pregnant with an alien's child exactly the way she thought he would. He was angry at first, believing that she cheated on him with an alien. Once she reinforced the concept that she was likely helping to save an entire race from extinction, though, he began to see things from her perspective, having at least a little compassion for the Yautja. He promised her that he would care for the child as if it were his own, no matter what it would look like as a half-breed.
A couple weeks passed, and Rita's friends were almost as joyful at her safe return as her family was. The local police called off the investigation. That wasn't the end of trouble for the Loud family, however. One day, Rita had just finished washing the breakfast dishes when there was a knock at the door. When she answered it, dozens of men in black body armor stormed the house. A group of them split off and invaded the girls' bedrooms. Lynn and Rita having already been restrained, they could only watch helplessly as their children were dragged kicking and screaming down the stairs in various stages of dress. Lily wore only a towel around her body, as the soldiers had interrupted her shower.
"What is the meaning of this tomfoolery?! Release us at once, you repulsive apes!" Lisa demanded. At four years old, she was very, very smart. Her vocabulary was so advanced that she regularly had to rephrase herself so that others could understand what she was trying to say. The soldiers nearest to the door parted to let a man wearing a smart black suit with a black tie and black sunglasses through. He held up a badge.
"Lynn and Rita Loud, I'm Agent Saunders of the FBI. You and your children are coming with us."
