Stolas laid in bed aimlessly staring at the ceiling, still dressed in his full royal regalia as he couldn’t even put forth the effort to get changed. Ever since Blitzø’s and his breakup during the last full moon, the prince hardly could put forth the effort to do anything.
After a few more moments of staring pointlessly, Stolas sought solace in the one being he thought would provide that for him.
Stolas, as observed, is a f*cking moron.
The phone rang for only a few moments before the sound of his favorite human greeted the prince “Hi Stolas, is everything alright?”
“It… could be better.” The prince reluctantly admitted.
Unsurprisingly, Luz was instantly able to something was up “Stolas… what’s wrong?” she questioned.
“Blitzø and I…” Stolas hesitated, wondering if he should go into the specifics of what happened, “We broke up.” he finally settled on. Stolas had expected words of comfort and sympathy from the human.
That’s not what he received.
“YOU DID WHAT!?” Luz’s scream rang out of the poor phone’s speaker as Stolas instinctively pulled the device away from his ear.
“Luz, I know this may sound shocking-” he tried to explain only to be met with pure silence “Luz? Luz?” glancing at the phone screen he saw that the human had hung up on him. The prince tried calling back only to be met with the voicemail.
The prince prepared to call Camila, to make sure Luz was alright, however before he could a flash of light appeared in front of him.
As the light cleared, Stolas was greeted by the sight of a furious Luz staring him down, a small purple snake-like creature floating beside her giving a matching look.
“LUZ!?” The prince cried out in confusion “You can’t be in hell! Can you imagine how much trouble we could get in! You have to go home-”
“You broke up with Blitzø?” Luz questioned the confused prince, her glare sharpened as she added on, “Your ‘darling little Blitzy’ Blitzø!?”
“Uh… yes.”
Luz’s face twisted in anger as she asked “WHY!?”
“Luz!” Stolas gasped “You know it's incredibly uncouth to pry into the personal life of a friend like this.”
“I don’t care!” Luz yelled back “You two were perfect for each other, why would you break up?”
The prince seethed in anger before taking a deep breath “Look it’s already too late.” Stolas declared before he curled up and somberly added “There’s no fixing this.”
“Oh, I’ll fix this.” Clearly having taken this as some kind of challenge, Luz hopped onto Stringbean and took off towards the I.M.P. offices.
As Stolas silently watched the human disappear into the city, it finally sunk in for Stolas what he had unleashed.
“Oh… oh no.”
Meanwhile, at said offices, the other half of this dysfunctional couple was sulking in the meeting room. Loona, Millie, and Moxxie all sat around the table with various looks of confusion and concern, as Blitzø had called for a meeting several minutes ago and sat in silence since.
Written on the whiteboard was the supposed meeting’s topic in big bold triple underlined capital letters “f*ck birds!!!” with a quick adamantium underneath that read “No not in that way.”
“Uh Boss, are you okay?” Millie questioned, “You seem a bit… suicidal.”
“Even more than usual.” Moxxie added on.
“Look I’ve fine.” Blitzø declared “And thanks to this little rock I never have to think about any bird ever again.” he explained waving his Asmodean Crystal about “Now let's go murder someone.”
“Uh, we don’t have any jobs currently.” Loona noted.
“Don’t worry I’ll find someone.” The Clownish Imp waved off the concerns as he tapped at the crystal trying to figure out how it worked.
Everyone sat in silence for a few seconds before Moxxie spoke up again “Sir, would you like Millie and I to go looking for clients?” he asked.
Blitzø raised an eyebrow and commented, “I didn’t say anything about a client.”
“But sir, you said-“
“I know what I f*cking said Moxxie.” Blitzø interrupted in a concerningly flat tone “Now how do I get this thing to take me to a prison?”
Before anyone could comment further, their thoughts were interrupted by a sound that was surprisingly more familiar to the group than one would think.
That would be the wall of their meeting room being blown up.
“WHERE IS HE!?” the group heard bellow out as the dust cleared to reveal Luz floating into the room and glaring down at the group.
“Uh, may I ask young lady… who are you looking for?” Moxxie bravely asked.
“BLITZØ!!!” Luz growled out, with fury strong enough to shake Satan himself.
The other members of I.M.P. immediately stepped out of the human’s way, leaving their boss to face the human alone.
“Oh f*ck you guys too.” Was the last thing Blitzø managed to get out before Luz dragged him off.
Back at his manor, Stolas paced about his room, mind filled with worries over Luz “What is she thinking!?” he mentally panicked.
Stolas’s thoughts were interrupted by a screaming Blitzø crashing into him.
The Imp shook his head as lifted himself back up, conveniently positioned so he loomed over Stolas as he lay on the floor.
“Uh hi.” Stolas managed to get out as his cheeks were filled with crimson red.
“Hi.” Blitzø said back, with a matching blush, before scrambling to his feet and dusting himself off.
After a few moments, the Imp finally processed where Luz had brought him “Hold on, did you have her drag me here?” Blitzø shot an accusatory look at the prince “You indecisive f*ck! You really think you can drag me the f*ck back here a week later and I’ll just f*cking play along!”
Stolas gaped in shock at the Imp’s accusation “You think I would do such a thing?” he asked, “That I disregard your autonomy that much!?”
Blitzø's response was simple “Yes.”
Before the pair could argue further, they suddenly found themselves being assaulted by several jets of water to the face “Stop it!” Luz declared holding the source of the water, a small plastic squirt bottle.
The pair glared down the human, shock painting both their faces, before Blitzø screamed at her “Hey, what do think I am a f*cking cat!?” The only answer the Imp got was another jet of water to the face, causing him to let out a suspiciously catlike hiss.
“Luz you can’t solve our relationship problems by spraying us with-” Stolas was cut off by another stream of water “AH! My top eyes!”
“Yeah, that would need us to have been dating in the first place.” Right as Blitzø bitterly stated that Luz shot him with a dozen sprays.
“LIES!” the human screamed out as she continued the barrage “YOU LOVE HIM ADMIT IT!”
“NEVER!” Blitzø defiantly shouted back.
“STOP THINKING NO ONE LOVES YOU BECAUSE YOU DON’T LOVE YOURSELF!” Luz demanded.
“Why does that sound like you’re speaking from experience?” Stolas voiced his concern, but was easily drowned out by the Imp and human’s screaming.
After several more minutes of spraying and screaming (to the point Stolas was starting to wonder how much water was even in Luz’s spray bottle), the drenched Imp finally gave in “ALRIGHT FINE!” Blitzø screamed out, tears flowing down his cheeks, “I LOVE HIM OKAY!”
Stolas gapped in shock at the Imp’s declaration “You do?” he questioned.
“YES!” Imp and human alike both screamed at the oblivious prince.
“YES OF COURSE I LOVE YOU!” Blitzø continued “I’VE BEEN DENING IT TO EVERYONE, EVEN MYSELF, BECAUSE WHO IN SATAN’S NAME COULD EVEN LOVE THIS!?!” and with his tirade finished, Blitzø collapsed into a heap.
Stolas knelt down in front of the Imp “Blitzø…” he began, gently caressing his beloved’s cheek, “I think you may be the first person since my daughter was born that I have truly loved.”
“R- really?” Blitzø nervously asked.
“YES!!!!” a near frothing at the mouth Luz screamed in the Imp’s ear, earning some side-eye from him.
“Right, thanks for making it clear.” Blitzø snarked as he rubbed his ear “Ow.”
“Now then,” Luz glared down the Imp “Are you going to accept that there are people who love you”?”
Blitzø rolled his eyes as he responded “Yeah, when Hell starts cooling.” Luz raised the bottle again “I mean yes. Yes!” he hastily corrected himself.
“And you!” she glared at Stolas, spraying him a few more times to make up for Blitzø, “Are you going to be better at communicating?”
Stolas wiped off his drenched face as he answered “I’ll try my best.”
At that the human smiled proudly “Alright then, my work here is done. Luz Noceda out!” and with another flash of light, the human was gone.
The pair sat quietly, pondering over what just happened for several moments before one of them broke the silence.
“You want to have some makeup sex?” Blitzø asked.
“Oh yes please.” Stolas instantly responded with the same tone as a thirsty (ha) man being offered a drink.
“You better still have all those sex toys I left behind they were expensive.” Blitzø said “I think they were; I didn’t actually pay for them.”
